| You dont belong to me anymore..but for some reason, seeing you suffer hurts my heart
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| If there's one thing in my life that's missing
It's the time that I spend alone
Sailing on the cool and bright clear water
Lots of those friendly people
And they're showing me ways to go
And I never want to lose their inspiration
It's time for a cool change
I know that it's time for a cool change
Now that my life is so prearranged
I know that it's time for a cool change |
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| i should be more honest about what i truly want...because now it's too late. i've already lost it completely and i know, it will not return
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| i haven't written a blog for a quite a while la..but today..i wanted to write one. well..mostly cause one of my friends said sometimes, writing stuff on the blog might make you feel better. though i'm not sure if it's true, but i guess i can give it a shot and see how it goes.
too much had happened last quarter, and probably due to the fast pace of the quarter system, even i think things should go in a fast pace, or at least, i just followed along with the pace even if i didn't really want to do so. anyways, at this moment, i feel really stupid, betrayed in a way. in the past few days, things have not really went the way i wanted them to, everything is suddenly so out of place. and i've realized, i might be better off being alone, mostly because i hate it when i have to depend on someone (or at least, tend to depend on someone..who i thought i could depend on, but really, i don't think so). and my courses, yes, courses..they're all so amazingly hard and all the professors warned me to put more effort and time in each and one of them. and amazingly, i can't really focus in these two days at all! just because of some small things (maybe it's not small, but i would like to say it's small..). i dont know, i find it so hard putting myself together, i think, some things are not quite suitable for me, or at least, maybe i'm not quite ready yet..my goals seem so far away from me now, and i dont know where to turn to, no one could really give me a good piece of advice. yet i know this quarter is only going to get worse, the waitlist, the materials i need to fit into my puny brain and all those stupid little issues..
i really want to wind down..
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